Black Friday Frenzy- Pandemic Edition

November 18, 2020

Hordes of people already stood outside the doors of the Walmart at 6:00 a.m. Not even a deadly virus, rampaging through the air and attacking loved ones, could deter Americans from that flat screen TV deal.

What were they going to do, shop for it online? Absolutely not—this was the in-person holiday shopping experience they’d been planning all year for.

That’s right: it was Black Friday 2020. 

The store would open at 8:00 and, as the minutes ticked by, the crowds drew tighter, with people pressing up against the glass doors the same as any other year of this national shopping craze.

At 7:45, people packed themselves against each other like sardines. Then, as the doors finally opened, the feeding frenzy began.

The crowd toppled over each other as they split off in different directions.

Many pulled down their masks to their noses or chins as they sprinted across the linoleum floors. Some were seen wiping visible sweat from their shirt sleeves. Other even foamed at the mouth, putting real rabid animals to shame.

A few decided to employ Mario-Kart-esque tactics by throwing other products—the insignificant, regularly-priced products—on the floor to slow down those behind them. A woman emptied a pocket-sized hand sanitizer—the official favorite beverage of the pandemic—onto the floor to make someone slip as she raced towards the discounted stereo systems.

A man well past his forties nipped a children’s bicycle from the recreation section and pedaled full-speed towards a stack of ping-pong tables. What else was he supposed to do? The deal included the paddles and balls with it.

With their expectations for a quieter Black friday shattering more quickly than a glass vase in a house with a toddler, the employees stood dumbfounded at the scene in front of them.

They looked like presidential debate moderators as they struggled to rein in the growing chaos, and the increasingly angry shoppers demanding whatever was left in the back…But it was just a dream, I remembered, waking up in a cold sweat.

Although knowing that local Walmart, it might become a reality.

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