Dear Teachers,

Thank you for your efforts to teach curriculum to the senior class, myself included, during this second semester. Unfortunately, I cannot accept education at this time due to a myriad of factors…

• My dog ate my will to come to class.
• I had an emergency at home — a fashion emergency.
• I was in bed all day with a bad case of senioritis.
• I was stuck in traffic (on my way to Downtown).
• I heard the quiz was hard and I had a nervous breakdown — so I went out for ice cream.
• I had the flu. I flu to San Diego.

As you can tell, school is a priority. Just, sometimes, other things are more important. I hope you’ll understand — this is no reflection of your instruction, which I’m sure is great. This is about me.

Next year, I’ll be in college. It will be on me to encourage my own attendance of class, and I won’t have the privilege of calls home at every absence or tardy, nor will I get to endure the wrath of a teacher whose class I missed. As such, I should start preparing now.

I propose that teachers and the administration recognize that living without consequences is a large part of living on one’s own, and prepare its students for this transition by simply eliminating the consequences. Late work could be turned in months late with no penalty, because at least we’re doing the work. Absences could be excused for reasons such as “I was out of coffee,” because, in college, a day without coffee is not going to be a productive one. Leaving class for an hour to take a nap in Senior Park (which makes for a great nap location, by the way) could be forgiven because high school has turned us all into insomniacs, and one more hour of sleep could make a significant difference in our ability to stand upright.

In short, I really am sorry that you have to teach second-semester seniors. But paying attention takes too much effort.

Sincerely,

A Remorseful Senior