A Modest Proposal for Spring Break

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Dear Whoever Decides When the Breaks Are,

Spring Break could not be better. It’s the break we all look forward to. It comes at the perfect time — a few weeks too late, but also, somehow, a few weeks too early.

It’s the week before Coachella weekend one, so we essentially get two Spring Breaks: the district-approved break and the week after Coachella festival-goers inevitably take off — two breaks in one.

Since the break occurs during neither Easter nor Passover, Jews and Christians alike will take time off for the respective holidays.

So, make that three breaks in one.

In the 168 hours of break, I’ll spend about two of them studying for AP tests amidst watching approximately three series, shopping for Coachella outfits, writing a novel, learning a new language, and whatever else I can think to do to avoid my responsibilities.

Juniors and ahead-of-the-game sophomores are forced to spend their breaks studying for the ACT to come right after the week’s end, leaving them little time to rest amidst prep books filled out on the beach and flash cards reviewed on road trips, providing ideal entertainment to such mundane events.

The myriad vacation destination options, too, are ideal — we are given the annual choice between flying to Cancun/Hawai’i and staying home, our Instagram feeds filled with either the caption “Spring Break” or “Staycation.”

In the event of the latter, the subtext implies a break filled with sitting at home, watching Netflix, and religiously refreshing Snapchat stories in a futile attempt to live vicariously through those on vacation.

In the event of the former, the subtext implies relaxation to an extent — as the vacation lasts seven days, a mere half of Winter Break’s duration.

For seniors, we can take the week to tour the colleges we’re considering — our last chance before the May 1st commitment deadline.

Personally, I have my list narrowed down to three schools, and a week will be perfectly sufficient to travel across the US in three different directions, considering I don’t sleep.

I am really excited to go to school at the normal time on the late start day, one week following Spring Break.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to wake up early — I’ll have an excuse to drink more coffee.

Sincerely,

A Grateful Spring Breaker

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A Modest Proposal for Spring Break