The iPad Kid Epidemic


(Graphic by Quinn Kearns)

Have you ever seen a child at a dinner playing games on their mom’s phone? 

If you have, you’ve witnessed a future iPad kid in their natural habitat. 

When their request for a real phone is denied they turn to the next best thing… a slightly bigger and less conventional iPhone. 

Now why should we be so scared of literal children, you may ask? 

The answer is quite straightforward. Simply because we can’t control them. They are not only willing to talk back to adults but they add a little bit of language and attitude.

These elementary schoolers are learning the burdens of laziness and refusal to go outside, something we only see in high schoolers and some vampires. 

The only efficient way to tame these children is by either banning them from watching Cocomelon or banning them from their iPads all together. 

Not only are we seeing this behavior in children, but in adults as well. 

This obsession of iPads has spanned out to parents of all generations. The dinner table has become a sanctuary for spawning dragons and crushing candy. 

The more iPads purchased for children, the more parents that get converted. 

You may be asking why this is a problem, but when you think about it the more adults use iPads the more likely they are to begin watching Instagram Reels and TikTok. 

So the next time you ask your parents if you can have an iPad, think not only of the consequences of possible addiction but of your parents understanding your “advanced” humor.